Why does church A/V tech seem to break down right before the largest and most technically complex services of the year, Christmas services? Rather than write an article about it, I put together this little parody in honor of all of us who had to “Tech the halls with last-minute fixes” to survive our Christmas services. (Sing to the tune of “ ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.”)
‘Twas the night before service, when all through the church,
The tech crew was scrambling, left in the lurch.
The cables were tangled, the mics wouldn’t pair,
In hopes that some miracle soon would be there.
The soundboard was crackling, the monitors hissed,
While my checklist of problems grew longer than wished.
And I in my headset, with coffee in hand,
Was praying for patience and a last-minute plan.
When out in the sanctuary, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the booth to see what was the matter.
Away to the altar I flew like a flash,
Tripping on cables and making a crash.
The projector was flickering, the lights wouldn’t dim,
And the choir’s first note sounded muted and grim.
When what to my desperate mind should appear,
But a flicker of hope—and an idea quite clear.
With duct tape, with gaffer, with tools by my side,
I patched and I tested, my panic denied.
More rapid than angels, the fixes they came,
And I muttered and prayed as I called them by name:
“Now cables! Now inputs! Now channels, behave!
On feedback! On power! On signal, be brave!
To the top of the stack, to the front of the stage,
Work together, dear system! Don’t spark in your rage!”
The hours ticked by as I pieced it together,
Each moment of stress making me question forever.
But just when I thought it was all bound to fail,
The hum turned to harmony, steady and pale.
The people filed in, unaware of the fight,
As the music soared high, clear and bright.
The singers proclaimed with hearts full of cheer,
And every word rang out for all ears to hear.
And though I was weary, my heart filled with peace,
For God took my chaos and granted release.
No one had seen the backstage commotion,
But glory to God rose like waves on the ocean.
So, I smiled as I leaned on the booth’s battered frame,
And whispered a prayer in His holy name.
“For all of the stress, Lord, it’s worth every part—
This is YOUR worship, straight from my heart.”
Golden Preciado is a Training Specialist and House of Worship Specialist for QSC, the Lead Audio Engineer at Grace Fellowship Church in Costa Mesa, CA, as well freelance engineer/consultant with her firm Golden Audio Mix. Golden grew up in the music industry and followed in her dad’s footsteps as an audio engineer, musician and worship leader. Golden is an accomplished front of house and broadcast engineer not only in the church world but in the secular music industry as well. She enjoys teaching her skill set to others, including online and on site where training is needed.
